I have read many metaphors about love, but none of them can make me feel the same.
Until I gradually understand the true meaning of love, that is what can make me become you
I have read many metaphors about love, but none of them can make me feel the same. I am constantly listening to the love of the world, but I can’t imagine the scenery. After all, there is only darkness in my world.
I have also seen those wonderful love stories and witnessed the sad youth journey. But now, those have become the only memories of love in my mind. The yang flower is gone, the world is dying all night, and only the endless darkness replaces the bustling brocade.
Xiaona is my only girlfriend, from high school to now. Originally, we planned to go to the palace of advanced marriage, but it was a pity that the car accident was smashed. Since then she has become dumb, and I have become a blind man. When a nephew communicates with the dumb, language and gestures are no help, so she draws words in my left hand to convey the message.
I often ask her why she only draws words in my left hand, she laughs and doesn’t speak, then draws two words in her hand: secret.
I don’t know why every time the good things are getting close, the mother always stands in the distance and looks at us. Of course, this is the message that Xiaona conveys. So I will scream: “Mom, are you there?”
“Oh, yes, Mom.” The mother’s voice became more and more vicissitudes. Although she could not see her face, I could vaguely feel that she was crying.
“Mom, let’s have a good meal tonight, Xiaona said she is hungry.” I laughed at my mother.
“Well… um, okay, okay.” The mother licked her, then wiped the tears on her cheek and whispered.
Looking at the back of my mother’s turn, Xiaona wrote in my hand: I didn’t say hungry, you are hungry.
Whenever I sit in front of the window and listen to the bustling glory under the window, Xiaona always appears in front of her, and she always stays with me. I often tell her about our past stories, those love stories. She is always listening attentively, and sometimes inserts a few words.
I told her that we met in the late summer, knowing each other in the late autumn, and loving each other in warm winter. I asked her if she still remembers the snow falling like a catkin? She was silent, and then she drew a big hook on her left hand. I smiled with satisfaction, then said that the snow was so big that it was too big to drown us, but we still stood on the piece of white as always, because you said we are going to pile up there. The biggest snowman, we have done it. After that, my tears hang out of my eyes. Xiaona gently wiped the tears in my eyes and wrote in the left hand: that is the biggest snowman I have ever seen.
When Xiaona is not there, I will always talk to myself. Later, I talked about the car accident alone. Then we will sit on the wedding car and prepare to sail to the palace of marriage, but it will almost be held in paradise. Oh, I sat there quietly smirking, laughing at the fate of this person, laughing at this ruthless sky.
“You are here.” After the laughter landed, I knew that Xiaona was coming, so I called her to sit next to me. She was silent and then wrote in my left hand: Mom said that she loves you very much.
After a while, I vaguely heard the sound of her pulling the curtains, so she shouted: “Xiao Na, don’t! Don’t open the curtains. For me, it doesn’t matter if there is it at the moment. The important thing is that you are always with me. “Well, I stretched out my arm and waved in the direction of the curtain: “Come, come to me and accompany me.” I am like a wounded kitten, I can’t leave my master.
Then I felt the temperature brought by Xiaona, as if the warm sun in the winter melted my inner sadness. I hugged her tightly. This time I ignored the mother who was hiding in the corner. I kissed her resolutely. It felt like a dream.
“Are we going to finish the wedding that died before?” I prayed for Xiaona, and her eyes seemed to dry up without tears.
Later, I felt that Xiaona was shaking her head. She rejected me again, and I can’t count how many times I failed. Later, she painted a fork in my left hand as usual. After a pause, she continued to write slowly: I want you to witness the moment with your own eyes.
I smiled gratifiedly, and I began to look forward to the moment of re-emergence.
In the later period, I always sat in front of the window, and then asked the mother behind me: “Mom, can you say that my eyes are good? Xiaona is waiting for me.”
“Come on, fast.” This is the mother’s consistent answer. I have listened to it many times, but I don’t know how long it will take her to “fast”. I only know that my mother has found a lot of doctors for me. Although they are very far apart, Xiaona said that they are watching me shaking their heads. I know that their conversation with their mother is full of helplessness. Maybe, there is really no cure.
When the doctor shook his head and left, Xiaona always clasped my hand and kept comforting me, but I knew that her heart was more painful than me. I caressed her face, let her not cry, she also stroked my dry eyes, slowly wrote in the palm: everything will be fine.
After the mother left, Xiaona made a sneaky face to me, I don’t know why I felt her movements, maybe just feeling it. I smiled at her and asked faintly: “What did Mom say to you?”
She wrote on her left hand: Mom said, let us get married as soon as possible.
I was a little surprised and responded with a puzzled face: “Yes… is it, but… but my eyes are not good, aren’t they?”
Xiaona didn’t respond to me, just quietly snuggling in my arms and listening to my heart beating. After a while, she wrote faintly: “I will let you recover.”
Later, Xiaona disappeared from me. That day, I raised my ears to hear the subtle sounds she made. Unfortunately, only the farther steps were heard, and finally the footsteps disappeared. The rest was only dead silence.
The mother still habitually pushed open a door slit and quietly observed me sitting at the window through the gap. Everything was so silent. But the hearing of the scorpion is different from ordinary people, so every time she pushes open the door I can perceive it, but it is only relatively silent.
I thought that time would have been so hurried until I was two white, until my mother went west to stay alone. However, God still has a good life. Maybe it doesn’t like the common people of the dust.
Soon after, the “fast” in the mother’s mouth will finally be fulfilled. That day, she ran to me in excitement and said excitedly: “Mom has found the best doctor in the province, and you will be able to get better this time.” Then she burst into tears. I don’t know why, I am not as excited as she is, maybe because Xiaona is no longer!
After a while, I vaguely saw a ray of light, but it was so glaring that I subconsciously wanted to resist this light, so I closed my eyes and did not open for a long time. I guess, the doctor must have used the flashlight to take my eyes. Later, I began to dislike all the bright things, because it would make me feel very painful. So, in the end, the doctor can only helplessly leave.
When he left, the mother stood outside the door and looked at us through the door. I knew she must be there because she was there. After the door was closed, I vaguely heard the conversation between the mother and the doctor, but the content could not be heard. I didn’t intend to hear it. It was probably some medical terminology and some helpless words.
I have never understood the meaning of her words, maybe it is just a comfort word. Until then, she appeared again. I don’t know if it was in the morning, at dusk or at midnight. Anyway, she came, and the shoulders seemed to have some snow. She walked quietly to me, gently stroking my cheeks, my hands were cold, but I felt very warm.
“Xiao Na, where have you been?” I whispered, tears in my eyes.
She smoothed my left hand as usual, then slowly wrote: I have been watching you by your side.
“You… why are you hiding from seeing me?” I asked.
Then, I felt her cheeks smile a little, as if looking at me like a spoiled child. Then, I felt the words written in the left hand: because I was looking for a way to make you clear.
“Is it found?” I asked in a plain tone.
She hesitated and continued to write: Well, I will take you to a place.
“Mom, are you there?” I shouted as usual.
“Oh, yes, Mom.” Listening to the mother’s response after tears, I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt, because only she has been waiting for me. I paused and looked at Xiaona around me. Although it was only dark, I knew she was there, then turned to her mother and said, “Mom, I want to go out with Xiaona, you. Just wait for us at home.”
“Oh… well… well, the road… be careful on the road.” The mother replied trembled.
On this day, Xiaona took me through countless snow and piled up all kinds of snowmen. Those happy scenes, the look of the snowmen, the blizzard in the sky, and the lovely and charming gesture of Xiaona, everything is vivid, although I can’t see it at the moment.
We have been playing in the snow for a long time, and we have forgotten the day and night. Until Xiaona said that she was leaving. Therefore, we can only be so regrettable to the field, the last snow slowly falling down the palm of your hand.
When I got home, my mother didn’t seem to be there. I invited Xiaona to sit next to me, chat with me, and accompany me to see the snow that still did not dissipate. But she said she was leaving. At first I thought she just wanted to go home, until I knew at the moment that she wanted to leave me.
I held her hand tightly, and kept pleading for a moment: “Xiao Na, please, don’t leave me!”
She slammed her hand and slammed me to the ground. Seeing it, she nervously approached my body and wrote on the left hand: I found a way to make you clear, but I have to leave you.
“No, no, if so, I would rather live in the dark forever.” I screamed, my eyes full of fear and pain.
Xiaona did not continue to write, just help me to walk quietly to the window. She gently opened the corner of the curtain, and I seemed to see a smile on her lips. She showed me the world outside the window, and I followed her gaze to the window, but only the glare of the glare came on the head. I couldn’t open my eyes, I had to block my eyes with my hands. I pleaded: “Xiao Na, my eyes are very painful, no, my chest is very painful. Please pull the curtains up!”
Xiaona ignored my request, but turned her head and looked at me quietly. Through the glare, I seem to see her unyielding eyes, and seems to be telling me to leave. I blinked and tried to see her look, seeing the tears in her eyes and the wounds in her heart. However, there is only a glare in the sight, and after the endless extension, I lost everything.
“Xiao Na” I called her like this, but she just looked at me and smiled. Then I seemed to see her gently open the glass window, and the breeze blowing in the window blew her long hair, and the wind was blowing.
Facing the sky, facing the breeze, she smiled back. I also laughed and smiled very sweetly, because at this moment she is very beautiful in my eyes, she is wearing a wedding dress, white wedding dress. I gradually realized that she wanted to finish the wedding with me because I had gradually seen her face.
I slowly approached her and wanted to see her close and touch her. However, she held out her right hand and stopped me. Her mouth smiled and laughed. It seemed that I had not waited for me to get out of this psychedelic world. She had already jumped to the sky and flourished.
“No!” I screamed wildly, trying to save Xiaona, who was jumping down the window, but it was too late.
After the call, the mother strove to open the door. She quietly looked at me by the window, I looked at her desperately. Looking at the room, I saw the tears in her eyes and the fear of writing the whole face.
She looked at me slowly toward the window, watching me gently open the glass window. So she began to groan and she tried to stop my actions. She struggled to come, just as I rushed to Xiaona, but I stopped her. I smiled at her and laughed. It seemed that I had not waited for her to approach my world, and I disappeared into her sight.
During the fall, I felt as if my mother was screaming and screaming, so desperate and painful. But I would like to tell her that I am about to get married with Xiaona, because I saw that I was wearing the wedding dress that day.
Slowly, I slowly approached Xiaona, and I saw her lying next to me, in the same blood pool. I laughed, I laughed, we finally got what we wanted, and finally we could hear the bells of the auditorium, and finally we could finish the wedding, even if it happened in heaven.
I saw Xiaona with her eyes closed and a shallow smile on her lips. I know she must be very happy. I struggled to climb to her side and wanted to see her face closely. Is it beautiful as it was then?
Gradually, I gradually saw her, but it wasn’t Xiaona, but myself.
Oh, is it me?
Later, I seemed to hear the conversation between the mother and the doctor.
“Your son is suffering from schizophrenia and paranoia. If he wants to heal, he must find Xiaona, who he fancied, because only she can open the window in his heart to bring him back to the light and reality.” The doctor worried.
“Xiao Na, she is dead. It was a year ago, I remember that there was heavy snow on that day. They were sitting in the wedding car and going to the auditorium. But the snow was so big that day, it was almost drowning. When the wedding car passed by On the winding road, the wheel lost and the car body lost its direction. Then he drove the car down the cliff. Later, he was saved, but Xiaona was buried under the snow forever. Since then, he has himself Closed in this dark room, often sitting and talking to himself, I think he must have seen Xiaona, must be!” Mother choked.
Later, I seem to hear the conversation that my mother said: “His eyes may never be better. Please help him open the curtains and breathe, at least… at least let him see the sun.” I thought I thought This is what the mother said to Xiaona. Later, she realized that she always looked at me when she spoke.
“Stupid, is this still asking?”
“How much do you love me?”
“Oh… love can make me become you!”
Oh, Xiaona, I have already loved you and turned into you, at least the right hand has become you. It turns out that the way you say it is to make you disappear, no, if so, I would rather live in darkness and fantasy forever, at least that beautiful.
In the dream, I seem to smell the flowers, the winter is gone, and the warm spring is coming back.
I have read many metaphors about love, but none of them can make me feel the same. Until I gradually understand the true meaning of love, that is to let me become you!
Postscript: Blind Love This novel was originally intended to participate in the short contest, but unfortunately it was not selected because the style is too young, but now it is read, but this is my favorite one, because the plot has A lot of intriguing points, this is what I want to express most.